It's been a two weeks since we found out about Collins. Monday she was diagnosed with a few more things. She has two motor speech disorders. Dysarthria and Apraxia. Dysarthria meaning her vocal, throat, tongue, mouth muscles are very week. Aprexia meaning her brain thinks of the word to say but short circuits, not being able to use her motor in her mouth to get it out.
Through all this I have been so blessed to see all the many tender mercies that have come our way.
I just wanted to share a one. My heart is full. Things I don't want to forget. Things that remind me, humble me, bless me and feel my heart with gratitude.
About nine months ago Dave had come to me and said I think I would like to join my brothers out in Boston selling solar. Mind you we have done this before. Move to another state for a few months. For a job. But this time we wouldn't be going for a few short summer months. This time I had five kids. Both of our summer selling experiences didn't work out for us. I remember telling Dave "We are never doing something like that again!"
This time was different. The feelings were different. I wasn't sure that I liked feeling at peace with going. I spent a day going to the temple, praying thinking, hopping I could go back to my husband and tell him, hey doesn't look like it's going to work out for us. Sorry but the spirit has advised other wise. Something I said once before we headed out to Connecticut for the summer. I sat there pondering hard, and wasn't getting what I wanted to hear. I mean, I was being realistic, I thought, and was judging on our past experiences. Those type of things just don't work out for us. But the harder I prayed something kept telling me this is the right thing for your family, you need to have faith. Then I thought OK maybe we could do it maybe I don't want to go because I'll be leaving everything behind like family, friends. I can't do that. I can't leave whats always been home for me. As days,months had past and the answer remained the same, calm and simple. I would try to pick apart the answer, questioning, how is this best for our family? But the answer has never changed. It's the right thing for your family!
I excepted that we would move and kept putting it in the back of my mind. Will see what happens I often thought. Life continued. Having five kids sure keeps a mother busy, let alone two out of five of our children have physical disabilities which keeps our appointment book filled. The last two months have been crazy busy. I thought of moving wasn't really there. My husband how ever had been counting down. He leaves in a few weeks. Leaving me for single mother-hood for a few months.Trying to cram in Doctor. appointments so that Dave can be there with me, things he doesn't want to miss either.
The time came to discuss Collins MRI with her Neurologist. And then it hit me! My tender mercy. After explaining everything that was going on she asked Dave and I, if we would be interested in traveling to other states for services as other states services are more progressive. She continued to tell us how they send families all over to help with patients particular diagnosis. "Yes of course!" "What state offers the best service for what our Collins needs." we asked. (We had never mentioned that we would be moving out of state soon.) She began to tell us " Boston has the best services for what you will need for her." "Would that be something your interested in." Tears streamed down my face. My answer was clear. I now knew why the move was the right thing for my family! My tender mercy.
I am grateful for these moments. I am grateful for the lord's had in all thing's, that he is watching over my little family. It has been so hard for the doctors to figure out what's going on often confusing them. I have sure gained an even stronger testimony that the lord has a time line for everything. Finding out when we did. This move. I am excited to get there now. And so excited to know Collins will get all the therapy she can. Being told by the doctors because now that she has a diagnosis she will receive services everyday instead of twice a month. So look out Boston and take that Dystarthria and Aprexia because this HT Cerebral Palsy beauty is headed your way and there's no stopping her and what she can do!