Almost a year ago we made a big decision. This big decision came with a lot of thought, excitement and some concern. The decision to move our family across the country was tough. The things that I would leave behind seemed so hard to give up. Up rooting our family, packing up seven people and nine years of marriage in just a few boxes, finding new doctors, not seeing family members on a constant base's. Family friends, cafe rio no but really I don't like seafood and there's no cafe rio! Now getting down to the wire to move, the things I would give up pale in comparison what I'm really about to give up. It all seemed so simple Dave would leave for three months ahead of us to get started on his new job while I attended to the needs of our five children and packed up our home. It seemed tough but we were both willing to sacrifice some things for some amazing opportunities that would lay ahead . The time came and with many tears we said goodbye to Dave. I'm not going to lie how single mothers do it I'll never know. Much love and appreciation I have for them. These last three months has been some of the hardest months of my life. Physically. Emotional. Mentally. I knew it would be a difficult feat but I didn't realize all the things that have happened in the last three months would transpire the we they would, things that would make ones world completely turned upside down.
Now I don't share things to complain that my life isn't great that I'm not grateful for the many things I have been so greatly blessed with. Or to have anyone feel sorry for me in any way. But a reminder to myself, my family, my children that we can do hard things that this isn't our first trial that we will face but some of many. As my three months of single motherhood began it was rough. I think the lack of father figure was hard at times on our kids to were they have tested me to no end. Warner especially, he is a kid who's just needs his dad to be a constant. It seemed the moment Dave left life just went down hill. And even worse feeling alone and not having my companion by side to cry with just frankly sucked! A week before Dave left I had a miscarriage again. I have been so amazingly blessed to become pregnant so many times but at the same time have experienced loss and sadness. Losing a child is never easy. I have lost three. Yep you have heard that right I have been pregnant eight times. It seems that each time I hemredige, I end up in the E.R sometimes needing to be intapabeted and surgery. The last two times have been really hard on me physically. Emotional. Mentally. This one more emotionally because there was no time to think about everything that happened. Dave was to leave that week and I needed to be ready to play mom and dad. Having many nights after he was gone crying alone and full of sadness. And as soon as I got myself together and got over everything what more could go wrong. Collins oh how I love my sweet Collins the joy she brings to our sweet family is immeasurable. She has been dealt with some tough cards to play in life and I only hope to teach her that you can win with a bad hand if you know to play them right. It was like has soon as my husband left crazy, scary things started happening with her. Things I wished my husband was here for. Second guessing myself and advocating for her that these breath holding spells are something more then what the doctors said they were. Watching her experience these acts of body seizures and passing out. I have never been so scared as a mother wondering if she'll breath. As that came and went things settled back down but still crazy as ever. I tried to get back in the satel and get back to life as normal five kids, therapy for Collins four times a week, teach art class at older kids school, speech for Warner and pack up house. That is our normal. As most know my biggest bomb shell came shortly after. Hearing my mom diagnosis with cancer is that world turned upside down thing I spoke of. I thought what more can I handle I just can't take anymore.
When I meant I just couldn't take anymore I meant with all the different trials I have had in my life. And at the same moment I thought how can mom take on another trial so big in her life. She has been dealt her fair share. Now I want people to know how much faith I have in my Heavenly Father and would never blame him for anything he is what has been a constant guide in my life and someone who believes I can do anything even handing me and my family a platter full of trails and say's you got this! I couldn't imagine facing hard things without having faith in something. Not to bring up the past but to share how strong of a women my mother is. My mother born in poor country having the opportunity to be adopted in Amercia and blessed with all that it would bring. She was blessed to come to a great family, a family were people admired my grandparents for all they did for all the seventeen kids they would eventually have. She has so many wonderful memories of siblings and family vacations. I love hearing about all of them. But in the same breath these were the parents who berated my mother and told her awful nasty things. Told her she was slow and stupid. To dark and should try to wash the dark out of her skin and would never amount to anything. I can't imagine being told that constantly by my parents the ones who are to love and protect me are doing the most damage. My mother has never made me feel that way. My mom would eventually marry when I was five and marry the only father figure I would ever know. My childhood wasn't a walk in the park, not your average childhood of fun, laughter and two loving parents but a home were cops frequented were drugs and alcohol were presents and a lot of domestic violence was being played out behind closed doors. Moments of watching my mother battered and left bloody on the floor. Locking my little brother in a closet just case my father would return. Peeking out the door wondering if I had time to make sure my mom was wake or knocked out. Dragging her to the room to help her clean up and running back to check on my scared little brother trying to convince him all will be ok not really knowing if I was ever really telling him the truth. This was life until I was fourteen. My dad left us and left us with nothing one day. Watching my mother having to start life all over alone with two kids. I'll never forget how hard this was on her. Putting me in a place as to counting on me to grow up fast to help because I was all she had. Sometimes resenting it because I just wanted to be kid. As my child googles have been removed and my adult ones have replaced them. There is so much my mom has taught me. Forgiveness has been one, we love my dad and are grateful for him that he takes care her has she battles her cancer. That they have learned to love each other and work together. Something my mother has always taught me is be grateful for everything including your trials especially your trials their is a purpose for them. She's right I would never change anything about my life it's had it's moment hardships. And along the way I have found the purpose of some of them. It brakes my heart that my mother has to battle yet another hrs trial. Stage 4 colon/uterine cancer is something I never thought would happen to anyone in my family. The thought of possibly loosing my mom will be one of the hardest trial I will ever face and I wonder if the many trials that have come and gone my life were for this moment. True honesty I feel like life just sucks sometimes and sometimes I just break down and cry in random places. Things now have gone from simple to complected, I'm now leaving my sick mother something I never would have done. The thought and feeling of abandoning my mother is one of the hardest decisions I have ever made I'll I've known is to step up and take care of things helping my mom playing other parent to my little brother is all I've ever known.
The last three months are now coming to a close and so much has happened, life has been one curve ball after another. We move next week and I'm trying find the purpose to the all the trials I have been handed as of recently and feeling so blessed for my mother. I love her more than anyone will ever know. I'm leaving a lot more behind then all the things I thought were hard things to leave.
Tuesday, May 19, 2015
Thursday, April 23, 2015
So begins our journey
Do you remember when you were a little kid and having that moment when you realize your parents are going to die someday. I know my own children have come to me or my husband and with a tear in there eye, saying "I don't want you to die!" realizing that death is a part of life. I remember that childhood fear very well and maybe as of recently even more so. I usually tell them "mom's not going anywhere, your being silly!" I always laughed at the idea and think, don't they understand that I'm no way near old enough to die. And as I got older myself I realized the same about my parents and the fear seemed to go away. Until last Sunday April 19, 2015
If any one who knows my mother well knows how giving she is. Her willingness to serve is something beyond measure. Sometimes as a child it would bring me embarrassment but as an adult it has shaped my gratitude for everything around me. My mom has always put us and others first which is what a mother is supposed to do. But she has always gone above the call of duty. She is one to work herself into the ground until she has served ever last person, leaving her exhausted only to repeat her self the next day. Not thinking once of her self and her needs. I love and admire her for that.
Over the past year my mother has been sick. I know at times not sharing how sick she was with us. Playing cool so we would never worry about her. Still sick and coming to mine or brothers aid to help with grand kids and whatever else was asked of her. Around last Christmas we noticed that she was loosing weight and to us a lot. And I think as things worsened for her and symptoms became more apparent to others around her, it was easier to tell her self nothings really wrong and possibly more then that, a fear to go to the doctors and hear that there was. With her finally realizing so and my brother, I and our spouses telling her it was time to be seen. With doctor appointments in place, we were excited to get down to the bottom of all this, especially to finally see her out all the pain she was experiencing. Watching it affect her day to day activity's, and watching it deplete all energy she had. Unfortunately the two appointments she had didn't bring much news just some Ibuprofen and told a possible slipped disk. Crazy! we all thought knowing that something wasn't right and they had to be missing something. A little frustrated we waited to hear back about the labs that they had ordered, hopping that they would unlock the source to it all. Last Sunday came and a phone call to. My mom, wondering if it wasn't to much trouble if after she did laundry and cleaned her home I wouldn't mind taking her to the ER. Again my mother wanted to take care of other things before her self, which is a boundary we have learned not to cross. I waited as patiently as I could only wanting to take her NOW not before silly chores could be done. Seeing her in so much pain and praying that this time they have to find something. Waiting for sometime we were finally seen by such a wonderful ER doctor. Having him examine and thinking that this was something like swollen intestines, finally an answer to everything. They'll know how to fix it, give her the proper pain meds and we will be on our way, I thought. But it wasn't that simple. I am grateful for the Doctor's intuition to say let's do a CT scan just to make sure. Having to leave for a moment to check on my children in the waiting room, the nurse come out and said, "Your mothers CT results are back!" I quickly left my oldest in charge and ran back to her room to hear her results. I'll never forget walking into the room and seeing my mother in heavy tears and the doctor by her side comforting her. Quickly I asked what was wrong. My mother and doctor asked to call all my family to come up to the hospital and then the doctor would share what was going on. I tried to pressure my mom to tell me but I could see it was something I shouldn't push. I knew something had to be serious for them to ask to call and request family to come up. I ran outside, sad that I left my mom in a room alone crying and trying not to panic on the inside. My brother and Dad arrived quickly and we waited in the room until the doctor was ready to explain what was going on. The room was so quite all of us just staring at each other and you could see each of us on edge and my sweet mother trying lighten the mood with small talk. The time came and the doctor sat down with us a begin with all things that you know isn't going to wind up being good news. The BLOW was tough with it ending in loud sobs by my mother which lead to everyone in the room to break down. Our world that once was will never be the same.
They found two large masses in her uterus and fluid that does not belong thier as well as her lymph nodes in her spine and lower back are astronomically big. She is tired all the time and in a great deal of pain. Sleeping seems to make it all go away. In the next couple days will talk with her oncologist and talk treatment and find out exactly what kinda of monster we are dealing with.
So much thoughts and feelings at this moment that are for another date time. But I know that this isn't a death sentence and it can be beat and my family and I are ready to fight alongside every trail she will face. We will stay positive and optimistic but I wont lie that childhood fear that I shared in the beginning is there. It's real.
If any one who knows my mother well knows how giving she is. Her willingness to serve is something beyond measure. Sometimes as a child it would bring me embarrassment but as an adult it has shaped my gratitude for everything around me. My mom has always put us and others first which is what a mother is supposed to do. But she has always gone above the call of duty. She is one to work herself into the ground until she has served ever last person, leaving her exhausted only to repeat her self the next day. Not thinking once of her self and her needs. I love and admire her for that.
Over the past year my mother has been sick. I know at times not sharing how sick she was with us. Playing cool so we would never worry about her. Still sick and coming to mine or brothers aid to help with grand kids and whatever else was asked of her. Around last Christmas we noticed that she was loosing weight and to us a lot. And I think as things worsened for her and symptoms became more apparent to others around her, it was easier to tell her self nothings really wrong and possibly more then that, a fear to go to the doctors and hear that there was. With her finally realizing so and my brother, I and our spouses telling her it was time to be seen. With doctor appointments in place, we were excited to get down to the bottom of all this, especially to finally see her out all the pain she was experiencing. Watching it affect her day to day activity's, and watching it deplete all energy she had. Unfortunately the two appointments she had didn't bring much news just some Ibuprofen and told a possible slipped disk. Crazy! we all thought knowing that something wasn't right and they had to be missing something. A little frustrated we waited to hear back about the labs that they had ordered, hopping that they would unlock the source to it all. Last Sunday came and a phone call to. My mom, wondering if it wasn't to much trouble if after she did laundry and cleaned her home I wouldn't mind taking her to the ER. Again my mother wanted to take care of other things before her self, which is a boundary we have learned not to cross. I waited as patiently as I could only wanting to take her NOW not before silly chores could be done. Seeing her in so much pain and praying that this time they have to find something. Waiting for sometime we were finally seen by such a wonderful ER doctor. Having him examine and thinking that this was something like swollen intestines, finally an answer to everything. They'll know how to fix it, give her the proper pain meds and we will be on our way, I thought. But it wasn't that simple. I am grateful for the Doctor's intuition to say let's do a CT scan just to make sure. Having to leave for a moment to check on my children in the waiting room, the nurse come out and said, "Your mothers CT results are back!" I quickly left my oldest in charge and ran back to her room to hear her results. I'll never forget walking into the room and seeing my mother in heavy tears and the doctor by her side comforting her. Quickly I asked what was wrong. My mother and doctor asked to call all my family to come up to the hospital and then the doctor would share what was going on. I tried to pressure my mom to tell me but I could see it was something I shouldn't push. I knew something had to be serious for them to ask to call and request family to come up. I ran outside, sad that I left my mom in a room alone crying and trying not to panic on the inside. My brother and Dad arrived quickly and we waited in the room until the doctor was ready to explain what was going on. The room was so quite all of us just staring at each other and you could see each of us on edge and my sweet mother trying lighten the mood with small talk. The time came and the doctor sat down with us a begin with all things that you know isn't going to wind up being good news. The BLOW was tough with it ending in loud sobs by my mother which lead to everyone in the room to break down. Our world that once was will never be the same.
They found two large masses in her uterus and fluid that does not belong thier as well as her lymph nodes in her spine and lower back are astronomically big. She is tired all the time and in a great deal of pain. Sleeping seems to make it all go away. In the next couple days will talk with her oncologist and talk treatment and find out exactly what kinda of monster we are dealing with.
So much thoughts and feelings at this moment that are for another date time. But I know that this isn't a death sentence and it can be beat and my family and I are ready to fight alongside every trail she will face. We will stay positive and optimistic but I wont lie that childhood fear that I shared in the beginning is there. It's real.
Thursday, January 15, 2015
The right thing for our family.
It's been a two weeks since we found out about Collins. Monday she was diagnosed with a few more things. She has two motor speech disorders. Dysarthria and Apraxia. Dysarthria meaning her vocal, throat, tongue, mouth muscles are very week. Aprexia meaning her brain thinks of the word to say but short circuits, not being able to use her motor in her mouth to get it out.
Through all this I have been so blessed to see all the many tender mercies that have come our way.
I just wanted to share a one. My heart is full. Things I don't want to forget. Things that remind me, humble me, bless me and feel my heart with gratitude.
About nine months ago Dave had come to me and said I think I would like to join my brothers out in Boston selling solar. Mind you we have done this before. Move to another state for a few months. For a job. But this time we wouldn't be going for a few short summer months. This time I had five kids. Both of our summer selling experiences didn't work out for us. I remember telling Dave "We are never doing something like that again!"
This time was different. The feelings were different. I wasn't sure that I liked feeling at peace with going. I spent a day going to the temple, praying thinking, hopping I could go back to my husband and tell him, hey doesn't look like it's going to work out for us. Sorry but the spirit has advised other wise. Something I said once before we headed out to Connecticut for the summer. I sat there pondering hard, and wasn't getting what I wanted to hear. I mean, I was being realistic, I thought, and was judging on our past experiences. Those type of things just don't work out for us. But the harder I prayed something kept telling me this is the right thing for your family, you need to have faith. Then I thought OK maybe we could do it maybe I don't want to go because I'll be leaving everything behind like family, friends. I can't do that. I can't leave whats always been home for me. As days,months had past and the answer remained the same, calm and simple. I would try to pick apart the answer, questioning, how is this best for our family? But the answer has never changed. It's the right thing for your family!
I excepted that we would move and kept putting it in the back of my mind. Will see what happens I often thought. Life continued. Having five kids sure keeps a mother busy, let alone two out of five of our children have physical disabilities which keeps our appointment book filled. The last two months have been crazy busy. I thought of moving wasn't really there. My husband how ever had been counting down. He leaves in a few weeks. Leaving me for single mother-hood for a few months.Trying to cram in Doctor. appointments so that Dave can be there with me, things he doesn't want to miss either.
The time came to discuss Collins MRI with her Neurologist. And then it hit me! My tender mercy. After explaining everything that was going on she asked Dave and I, if we would be interested in traveling to other states for services as other states services are more progressive. She continued to tell us how they send families all over to help with patients particular diagnosis. "Yes of course!" "What state offers the best service for what our Collins needs." we asked. (We had never mentioned that we would be moving out of state soon.) She began to tell us " Boston has the best services for what you will need for her." "Would that be something your interested in." Tears streamed down my face. My answer was clear. I now knew why the move was the right thing for my family! My tender mercy.
I am grateful for these moments. I am grateful for the lord's had in all thing's, that he is watching over my little family. It has been so hard for the doctors to figure out what's going on often confusing them. I have sure gained an even stronger testimony that the lord has a time line for everything. Finding out when we did. This move. I am excited to get there now. And so excited to know Collins will get all the therapy she can. Being told by the doctors because now that she has a diagnosis she will receive services everyday instead of twice a month. So look out Boston and take that Dystarthria and Aprexia because this HT Cerebral Palsy beauty is headed your way and there's no stopping her and what she can do!
Through all this I have been so blessed to see all the many tender mercies that have come our way.
I just wanted to share a one. My heart is full. Things I don't want to forget. Things that remind me, humble me, bless me and feel my heart with gratitude.
About nine months ago Dave had come to me and said I think I would like to join my brothers out in Boston selling solar. Mind you we have done this before. Move to another state for a few months. For a job. But this time we wouldn't be going for a few short summer months. This time I had five kids. Both of our summer selling experiences didn't work out for us. I remember telling Dave "We are never doing something like that again!"
This time was different. The feelings were different. I wasn't sure that I liked feeling at peace with going. I spent a day going to the temple, praying thinking, hopping I could go back to my husband and tell him, hey doesn't look like it's going to work out for us. Sorry but the spirit has advised other wise. Something I said once before we headed out to Connecticut for the summer. I sat there pondering hard, and wasn't getting what I wanted to hear. I mean, I was being realistic, I thought, and was judging on our past experiences. Those type of things just don't work out for us. But the harder I prayed something kept telling me this is the right thing for your family, you need to have faith. Then I thought OK maybe we could do it maybe I don't want to go because I'll be leaving everything behind like family, friends. I can't do that. I can't leave whats always been home for me. As days,months had past and the answer remained the same, calm and simple. I would try to pick apart the answer, questioning, how is this best for our family? But the answer has never changed. It's the right thing for your family!
I excepted that we would move and kept putting it in the back of my mind. Will see what happens I often thought. Life continued. Having five kids sure keeps a mother busy, let alone two out of five of our children have physical disabilities which keeps our appointment book filled. The last two months have been crazy busy. I thought of moving wasn't really there. My husband how ever had been counting down. He leaves in a few weeks. Leaving me for single mother-hood for a few months.Trying to cram in Doctor. appointments so that Dave can be there with me, things he doesn't want to miss either.
The time came to discuss Collins MRI with her Neurologist. And then it hit me! My tender mercy. After explaining everything that was going on she asked Dave and I, if we would be interested in traveling to other states for services as other states services are more progressive. She continued to tell us how they send families all over to help with patients particular diagnosis. "Yes of course!" "What state offers the best service for what our Collins needs." we asked. (We had never mentioned that we would be moving out of state soon.) She began to tell us " Boston has the best services for what you will need for her." "Would that be something your interested in." Tears streamed down my face. My answer was clear. I now knew why the move was the right thing for my family! My tender mercy.
I am grateful for these moments. I am grateful for the lord's had in all thing's, that he is watching over my little family. It has been so hard for the doctors to figure out what's going on often confusing them. I have sure gained an even stronger testimony that the lord has a time line for everything. Finding out when we did. This move. I am excited to get there now. And so excited to know Collins will get all the therapy she can. Being told by the doctors because now that she has a diagnosis she will receive services everyday instead of twice a month. So look out Boston and take that Dystarthria and Aprexia because this HT Cerebral Palsy beauty is headed your way and there's no stopping her and what she can do!
Sunday, January 11, 2015
Where to begin....
Where to begin.
I haven't blogged in so long.
I haven't seen my blog in years.
As this week has been a rough one for us. We have had so many friends, family etc. call, pm me Facebook and extend love and concern for our sweet Collins. I thought how do I go about sharing my thoughts and feelings. Do I want people to know about her? I certainly don't want to label my child and don't want others to do so either. My blog came to my mind and decided this was good time to bring it back and way to get out how I feel and to share with others, those who have asked "what's wrong!" So here goes nothing!
From the moment I had Collins there was something special about her. Not that my other children aren't special but from the moment I held her there was just this something, something I felt about her that was different.
As she stared to grow we noticed that she wasn't meeting milestones that she was supposed to. So many times every one around us would share stories with us like "my kid took a long time to do such an such" but as a mom I just knew something wasn't right. As kind as people were to encourage me and say "she's fine, I'm sure you have nothing to worry about." In my heart. My instinct as mother. I just knew. At times I admit I would internally get frustrated, sometimes angry with people as I was often told, "she doesn't look handicap" " your making it to big of a deal." "You have to stop comparing her to your other children." I knew people meant well, but in my heart, well a mom just knows.
Visiting with our Pediatrician who agreed that something just wasn't matching up. So begin our journey of what's wrong and why. We started with simple things. X-rays. Everything was fine there. Secretly I was hoping all the things that had been said to us would prove me wrong and we would find nothing and I was just being and over dramatic mom. We did blood work and some other tests. Everything was fine there. As we continued down this path we just weren't finding anything as to why she didn't start sitting up until she was one. Why everything startled her and she would cry for hours. Why she had no interest in speaking. Why she choked all the time, once scaring me so bad I thought I needed to call an ambulance. She was so purple and I swear minutes had gone by that she wasn't getting any oxygen to her brain.
Why it wasn't until she was eighteen months she finally started to crawl, not on all fours but army crawl. Why we still aren't talking. Let me tell you something about Collins she is so smart. Often times doing things that surprised me. She wasn't meeting milestones but I knew she was a smart little girl and I just couldn't understand why. At eighteen months we decided it was finally time to get involved in early intervention. They came. They evaluated, she scored so low on everything that we were approved. They couldn't tell us anything either as to why.
She made great strides in physical therapy. She made my worries as a mother a little less. All my what if she never, at ease. She was finally walking! It took her a year. She was progressing. I was a proud mom. Now I don't want you think I never had faith in her, faith that she could do hard things. For the most part I am and optimistic person and a positive, up beat person. But as a mom you just worry. You want the best for your child. You want them to experience everything they can, to learn and grow.
Finally it was suggested to us that we visit with and orthopedic doctor at Shriner's hospital to be fitted for inserts and talk about a diagnosis. We meet with her and were given the diagnosis of Hyper tonic Cerebral Palsy. An MRI was ordered. Wow, what did we just hear! When I think of someone having CP so much comes to my mind. But Collins didn't fit the mold of what I thought I knew about it. So many thoughts and feelings coursed through Dave and I. We went back to the car and both of us just cried. What did all this mean? What did this mean for Collins and her life? So many questions like, how did this happen? Collins had a traumatic birth. Cord wrapped around her neck, broken collar bone and a collapsed lung. All my thoughts raced to that day. Was that the cause? Did the doctors miss something? I wasn't sure how to feel. We collected our thoughts and reminded our self that we still hadn't had her MRI and slayed a prayer in hopes that her brain was not involved. December came and it was MRI time. Collins did so well even while getting poked for an IV she still was willing to give out hugs to all the nurses in the room, even the ones that poked her. If any one knows Collins knows she is such a sweet girl she loves to hug everyone even random strangers especially when we are shopping at Costco. Its her way of saying thank you for all the great food samples. This is something I love about her. She loves everyone and wants to love on everyone.
Christmas came, New Years came and we waited patiently waited for the phone call, the one that I wasn't sure if I wanted to hear. It came. The messenger on the phone was kind but his voice got soft and quite "I hate to inform you Mrs. Gallagher but we found somethings some brain Admiralties that are concerning. Things that we don't want to discuss over the phone. We need you to come in as soon as possible and meet with the Neurologist. Can you be here tomorrow." OF COURSE! Getting off the phone so many more thoughts. What are they going to say to us? Whats wrong that they just can't tell me over the phone? The next day came. trying to not read into things trying to not let myself go there. Our PT had said the day before we went in, sometimes when they call parents in like that it could mean something bad like a tumor. "Oh please not that!" I thought, don't go there Brooke!
We arrived and were taken back right away. It seemed like forever. Dr. Kerr came in and told us what her brain scans said. Some where in my pregnancy Collins lost some of her brain cells. Which means you have a right side and a left side of the brain and the brain cells or tracks are what connect the two together. Collins is missing half of what the normal person is born with. She wont get these back. We have a part of the brain called the Basal Ganglia, both of Collins BG are dysmorphic meaning that are shaped oddly. The BG is the part of the brain were it forms habits and then maintains the repetition of the habit. It also controls motor and breathing. There are different parts of the Basal Ganglia one part in particular is more rounded then it supposed to be and larger in volume as well. Her head and brain are also not growing as fast as they should but so far not a huge concern for the doctors at this moment. Being told that there not sure if she will ever talk.
So there we have it. We will have to see the neurologist every 6 months to watch the growth of her head. Will be taking on a new speech therapist along with our wonderful other one. Collins starts a special toddler class or did start last week really. And we will continue with our other three wonderful therapist at home.
We have so many questions. Lot of them which cannot be answered, but only time will tell what will become of Collins life. I have been up and down in the feeling department. Moments of tears running down my face wondering if she will have everything in life I wanted her to. I've done the guilt thing. Was there something I could have done different in my pregnancy? Feeling like not again. We already have one other child with a physical deformity's. Warner's cleft lip. Now I have another one. What have I done.
But because of my faith and what I believe in. Everything will be just fine!
I believe that Heavenly father has a plan for us, plans we may not understand. I try to look at the positive and am grateful that it could be so much worse. I'm grateful that cognitively she is just fine and she understands. She really is a smart little girl. I am grateful that when I am feeling down or scared about not knowing what's around the corner the Saviour is there by side to comfort me. I can feel it. There will be days that are hard for her. Days like now that we face every day. Days were she gets tired from walking and we have to carry her. Days were she is so clumsy because of her muscle control. I look forward to hearing her voice when ever that will be as much as I love her sweet signing I can't wait to her "I love you!" We will treat her like the rest of our other children except for she has a disadvantage that makes achievement difficult. That she can do hard things. But really everyone has a Handicap. Anything is possible and we will in courage her to work hard and support her along this bumpy road. Most of all it's this sweet little girl without knowing it, in courage's me to be her best mom I can. She has no idea what's going on. I love how she tries so hard to be one of the big kids. Doesn't want to be left out of anything, and try's so hard to keep up with them. It's this happy attitude that she carries around with her that I hope to always have something I admire in my two an half year old.
I am so grateful for My Husband. I know it has been hard for him. I feel so blessed to go down this path with him. Collins loves her daddy more then anyone. We really make a great team. There is no one better. I am so grateful for all the wonderful therapist that we have been so blessed to have in our home. They have worked so hard with Collins pushing and in couraging her to do anything. I am so grateful they have been there for Dave and I to support us call us to check on us after appointments. For hugging me when I cry. For loving our sweet Collins. We have been so blessed and are so grateful that the lord has in trusted us with this sweet baby. We are ready to dive right into this journey together and I couldn't pick a better family to do it with. Thank you for all your love and support. We are still learning so much about CP if you have questions please don't hesitate to ask.
I haven't blogged in so long.
I haven't seen my blog in years.
As this week has been a rough one for us. We have had so many friends, family etc. call, pm me Facebook and extend love and concern for our sweet Collins. I thought how do I go about sharing my thoughts and feelings. Do I want people to know about her? I certainly don't want to label my child and don't want others to do so either. My blog came to my mind and decided this was good time to bring it back and way to get out how I feel and to share with others, those who have asked "what's wrong!" So here goes nothing!
From the moment I had Collins there was something special about her. Not that my other children aren't special but from the moment I held her there was just this something, something I felt about her that was different.
As she stared to grow we noticed that she wasn't meeting milestones that she was supposed to. So many times every one around us would share stories with us like "my kid took a long time to do such an such" but as a mom I just knew something wasn't right. As kind as people were to encourage me and say "she's fine, I'm sure you have nothing to worry about." In my heart. My instinct as mother. I just knew. At times I admit I would internally get frustrated, sometimes angry with people as I was often told, "she doesn't look handicap" " your making it to big of a deal." "You have to stop comparing her to your other children." I knew people meant well, but in my heart, well a mom just knows.
Visiting with our Pediatrician who agreed that something just wasn't matching up. So begin our journey of what's wrong and why. We started with simple things. X-rays. Everything was fine there. Secretly I was hoping all the things that had been said to us would prove me wrong and we would find nothing and I was just being and over dramatic mom. We did blood work and some other tests. Everything was fine there. As we continued down this path we just weren't finding anything as to why she didn't start sitting up until she was one. Why everything startled her and she would cry for hours. Why she had no interest in speaking. Why she choked all the time, once scaring me so bad I thought I needed to call an ambulance. She was so purple and I swear minutes had gone by that she wasn't getting any oxygen to her brain.
Why it wasn't until she was eighteen months she finally started to crawl, not on all fours but army crawl. Why we still aren't talking. Let me tell you something about Collins she is so smart. Often times doing things that surprised me. She wasn't meeting milestones but I knew she was a smart little girl and I just couldn't understand why. At eighteen months we decided it was finally time to get involved in early intervention. They came. They evaluated, she scored so low on everything that we were approved. They couldn't tell us anything either as to why.
She made great strides in physical therapy. She made my worries as a mother a little less. All my what if she never, at ease. She was finally walking! It took her a year. She was progressing. I was a proud mom. Now I don't want you think I never had faith in her, faith that she could do hard things. For the most part I am and optimistic person and a positive, up beat person. But as a mom you just worry. You want the best for your child. You want them to experience everything they can, to learn and grow.
Finally it was suggested to us that we visit with and orthopedic doctor at Shriner's hospital to be fitted for inserts and talk about a diagnosis. We meet with her and were given the diagnosis of Hyper tonic Cerebral Palsy. An MRI was ordered. Wow, what did we just hear! When I think of someone having CP so much comes to my mind. But Collins didn't fit the mold of what I thought I knew about it. So many thoughts and feelings coursed through Dave and I. We went back to the car and both of us just cried. What did all this mean? What did this mean for Collins and her life? So many questions like, how did this happen? Collins had a traumatic birth. Cord wrapped around her neck, broken collar bone and a collapsed lung. All my thoughts raced to that day. Was that the cause? Did the doctors miss something? I wasn't sure how to feel. We collected our thoughts and reminded our self that we still hadn't had her MRI and slayed a prayer in hopes that her brain was not involved. December came and it was MRI time. Collins did so well even while getting poked for an IV she still was willing to give out hugs to all the nurses in the room, even the ones that poked her. If any one knows Collins knows she is such a sweet girl she loves to hug everyone even random strangers especially when we are shopping at Costco. Its her way of saying thank you for all the great food samples. This is something I love about her. She loves everyone and wants to love on everyone.
Christmas came, New Years came and we waited patiently waited for the phone call, the one that I wasn't sure if I wanted to hear. It came. The messenger on the phone was kind but his voice got soft and quite "I hate to inform you Mrs. Gallagher but we found somethings some brain Admiralties that are concerning. Things that we don't want to discuss over the phone. We need you to come in as soon as possible and meet with the Neurologist. Can you be here tomorrow." OF COURSE! Getting off the phone so many more thoughts. What are they going to say to us? Whats wrong that they just can't tell me over the phone? The next day came. trying to not read into things trying to not let myself go there. Our PT had said the day before we went in, sometimes when they call parents in like that it could mean something bad like a tumor. "Oh please not that!" I thought, don't go there Brooke!
We arrived and were taken back right away. It seemed like forever. Dr. Kerr came in and told us what her brain scans said. Some where in my pregnancy Collins lost some of her brain cells. Which means you have a right side and a left side of the brain and the brain cells or tracks are what connect the two together. Collins is missing half of what the normal person is born with. She wont get these back. We have a part of the brain called the Basal Ganglia, both of Collins BG are dysmorphic meaning that are shaped oddly. The BG is the part of the brain were it forms habits and then maintains the repetition of the habit. It also controls motor and breathing. There are different parts of the Basal Ganglia one part in particular is more rounded then it supposed to be and larger in volume as well. Her head and brain are also not growing as fast as they should but so far not a huge concern for the doctors at this moment. Being told that there not sure if she will ever talk.
So there we have it. We will have to see the neurologist every 6 months to watch the growth of her head. Will be taking on a new speech therapist along with our wonderful other one. Collins starts a special toddler class or did start last week really. And we will continue with our other three wonderful therapist at home.
We have so many questions. Lot of them which cannot be answered, but only time will tell what will become of Collins life. I have been up and down in the feeling department. Moments of tears running down my face wondering if she will have everything in life I wanted her to. I've done the guilt thing. Was there something I could have done different in my pregnancy? Feeling like not again. We already have one other child with a physical deformity's. Warner's cleft lip. Now I have another one. What have I done.
But because of my faith and what I believe in. Everything will be just fine!
I believe that Heavenly father has a plan for us, plans we may not understand. I try to look at the positive and am grateful that it could be so much worse. I'm grateful that cognitively she is just fine and she understands. She really is a smart little girl. I am grateful that when I am feeling down or scared about not knowing what's around the corner the Saviour is there by side to comfort me. I can feel it. There will be days that are hard for her. Days like now that we face every day. Days were she gets tired from walking and we have to carry her. Days were she is so clumsy because of her muscle control. I look forward to hearing her voice when ever that will be as much as I love her sweet signing I can't wait to her "I love you!" We will treat her like the rest of our other children except for she has a disadvantage that makes achievement difficult. That she can do hard things. But really everyone has a Handicap. Anything is possible and we will in courage her to work hard and support her along this bumpy road. Most of all it's this sweet little girl without knowing it, in courage's me to be her best mom I can. She has no idea what's going on. I love how she tries so hard to be one of the big kids. Doesn't want to be left out of anything, and try's so hard to keep up with them. It's this happy attitude that she carries around with her that I hope to always have something I admire in my two an half year old.
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
Thursday, December 15, 2011
Just a number of things I've done today!
So I did this post a while back and today's events, adventure, mishaps and a book I read to my kids after getting them to settle down (The very hungry caterpillar) reminded of that post. So again I thought I would do another one like that!
Last night wasn't to bad of a night. I only had to remind and return Boston to his bed 1 time last night.Thanks to the elf on the shelf in my home Boston is doing his best to stay in line and listen. I do however wish there was a mythical creature of some sort I could keep in my home all year round to get my kids to listen! Any thoughts of what would work? Maybe I can tell them that's why we have a dog she's actually magic or something I don't know!
This morning we got the kids all ready for there Christmas program at pre-school. They did such a good job singing and putting on a cute show for all the parents. Boston and Bailey then did a cute gift/book exchange with the other kids in there class. We brought home 2 new books to add to there bookshelf. Let's see how long they will last before Warner realizes that "Boy, there's something wrong with those books, I know they haven't been ripped to shreds I must help out mom and take care of that right away!"
WARNING: This might be TMI, before you continue on..... but I am happy for me! I have only had to visit the toilet fair 3 times today! My kids are so sweet except Boston did tell me "hurry up mom I have to go potty and your taking to long!" to which I replied "there is another toilet bud," in between gag reflexes. Kids! It's like me being pregnant is old news for the 4 1/2 year old!
We haven't done to much today, just hanging out in the play room watching movies. We love Christmas movies and there is a reason they only come out at the holiday's, not only because it's the most wonderful time of the year and what wonderful memories they remind us of but if I have to watch the Grinch one more time........I might loose it, we have watched it 4 times today and that's just today. I am pretty sure sense we hit December we have watched it at least a hundred times! (maybe that's a little over the top but it sure feels that way!)
I realized Christmas is only twelve days away so I took a look at my Christmas list to see were I was at with my Christmas shopping. It's not bad, still have some to do. But I only have 5 things left on my shopping list! Yay!!! much less then I then I list in my head!
Today was supposed to be Dave's day off ! I had all these plans to spend the day as a family and be lazy, hang out and bake cookies with the kids and go around and pass them out as a family. Unfortunately Dave was called into work and my plans of the five of us being together in my kitchen having a blissful baking night of fun are not going to work out. So Dave will be leaving us at 6 and be home in the wee hours of the morning.
I used to have Wednesday be my laundry day but now that I have a bigger home and three kids and a husband I can't have just one day be laundry day. Everyday is laundry day! It amazes me how fast, magically whatever you want to call it, the laundry can pile up! I swear I did all or most of it yesterday but I guess not because I'm on my 7 Th load! It's a sad realization that I have this amount of laundry to do for eighteen more years! At what point and age does laundry become a chore? Who out there thinks four is to early to start, he does tell me all the time he is the big bro in charge and likes to remind me even though he is in pre-school he does go to high school with the big kids, he does make a good point! So with that being the case, like I said who think four is to young?
Bailey loves having the elf in our house. She definitely considers herself his little helper or "has his back" one might say. She reports to him when she sees fit to make sure the elf is catching every thing, good or bad, naughty or nice. She has had many conversations with him, 8 so far today in fact! Whether it's to report any hitting, saying please and thank yous or just telling him a story of her own. She cracks me up when I can hear the things she shares with him and waits patiently for a response but nothing comes from his mouth and she so kindly says to him " It's OK I know it's one of Santa's rules that you can't talk to me or you will loose your magic." It melts my heart! I love what Christmas is and what it represents but not only that the sweet innocence that children have at this time of the year. I am so blessed to have three of them in my home and soon a fourth will be here to share it's unconditional love and innocence with us! I am a lucky, blessed, rewarded times three, mom!
So far today I can't think of anything that has, been, almost, happened 9 times. I do know that I use I word "NO" often. It often takes me 9 times or more before I can get a response or people moving around here. I am almost sure my kids think that, that's the only word I know especially Warner. But I guess it's a good thing, a positive way to see things I really haven't had to say "NO" that much today. That's always refreshing in one's home when you spend most of your day as a stay home mom and feel like a broken record!
I really do love winter! I love living in a state that gives me opportunity to experience the joy of having all four seasons. I love all the the things that I get to look forward that comes with each one, whether it be getting out new decerotions for my home, spending outside playing in the sun or just staying in by the fire place reading, watching a movie and eating something warm out of the crock pot. Something I love about winter is pulling out all my winter boots which I'm sure every women does. So I thought today While my two older ones were occupied by the Grinch, and Warner napped. I decided that just because my feet go into hibernation for the next few months why not still make them feel pretty in there home of winter boots, so I painted all 10 of my toes hot pink even though no one will ever see them!
Last night wasn't to bad of a night. I only had to remind and return Boston to his bed 1 time last night.Thanks to the elf on the shelf in my home Boston is doing his best to stay in line and listen. I do however wish there was a mythical creature of some sort I could keep in my home all year round to get my kids to listen! Any thoughts of what would work? Maybe I can tell them that's why we have a dog she's actually magic or something I don't know!
This morning we got the kids all ready for there Christmas program at pre-school. They did such a good job singing and putting on a cute show for all the parents. Boston and Bailey then did a cute gift/book exchange with the other kids in there class. We brought home 2 new books to add to there bookshelf. Let's see how long they will last before Warner realizes that "Boy, there's something wrong with those books, I know they haven't been ripped to shreds I must help out mom and take care of that right away!"
WARNING: This might be TMI, before you continue on..... but I am happy for me! I have only had to visit the toilet fair 3 times today! My kids are so sweet except Boston did tell me "hurry up mom I have to go potty and your taking to long!" to which I replied "there is another toilet bud," in between gag reflexes. Kids! It's like me being pregnant is old news for the 4 1/2 year old!
We haven't done to much today, just hanging out in the play room watching movies. We love Christmas movies and there is a reason they only come out at the holiday's, not only because it's the most wonderful time of the year and what wonderful memories they remind us of but if I have to watch the Grinch one more time........I might loose it, we have watched it 4 times today and that's just today. I am pretty sure sense we hit December we have watched it at least a hundred times! (maybe that's a little over the top but it sure feels that way!)
I realized Christmas is only twelve days away so I took a look at my Christmas list to see were I was at with my Christmas shopping. It's not bad, still have some to do. But I only have 5 things left on my shopping list! Yay!!! much less then I then I list in my head!
Today was supposed to be Dave's day off ! I had all these plans to spend the day as a family and be lazy, hang out and bake cookies with the kids and go around and pass them out as a family. Unfortunately Dave was called into work and my plans of the five of us being together in my kitchen having a blissful baking night of fun are not going to work out. So Dave will be leaving us at 6 and be home in the wee hours of the morning.
I used to have Wednesday be my laundry day but now that I have a bigger home and three kids and a husband I can't have just one day be laundry day. Everyday is laundry day! It amazes me how fast, magically whatever you want to call it, the laundry can pile up! I swear I did all or most of it yesterday but I guess not because I'm on my 7 Th load! It's a sad realization that I have this amount of laundry to do for eighteen more years! At what point and age does laundry become a chore? Who out there thinks four is to early to start, he does tell me all the time he is the big bro in charge and likes to remind me even though he is in pre-school he does go to high school with the big kids, he does make a good point! So with that being the case, like I said who think four is to young?
Bailey loves having the elf in our house. She definitely considers herself his little helper or "has his back" one might say. She reports to him when she sees fit to make sure the elf is catching every thing, good or bad, naughty or nice. She has had many conversations with him, 8 so far today in fact! Whether it's to report any hitting, saying please and thank yous or just telling him a story of her own. She cracks me up when I can hear the things she shares with him and waits patiently for a response but nothing comes from his mouth and she so kindly says to him " It's OK I know it's one of Santa's rules that you can't talk to me or you will loose your magic." It melts my heart! I love what Christmas is and what it represents but not only that the sweet innocence that children have at this time of the year. I am so blessed to have three of them in my home and soon a fourth will be here to share it's unconditional love and innocence with us! I am a lucky, blessed, rewarded times three, mom!
So far today I can't think of anything that has, been, almost, happened 9 times. I do know that I use I word "NO" often. It often takes me 9 times or more before I can get a response or people moving around here. I am almost sure my kids think that, that's the only word I know especially Warner. But I guess it's a good thing, a positive way to see things I really haven't had to say "NO" that much today. That's always refreshing in one's home when you spend most of your day as a stay home mom and feel like a broken record!
I really do love winter! I love living in a state that gives me opportunity to experience the joy of having all four seasons. I love all the the things that I get to look forward that comes with each one, whether it be getting out new decerotions for my home, spending outside playing in the sun or just staying in by the fire place reading, watching a movie and eating something warm out of the crock pot. Something I love about winter is pulling out all my winter boots which I'm sure every women does. So I thought today While my two older ones were occupied by the Grinch, and Warner napped. I decided that just because my feet go into hibernation for the next few months why not still make them feel pretty in there home of winter boots, so I painted all 10 of my toes hot pink even though no one will ever see them!
Friday, December 2, 2011
Friday, November 18, 2011
it's been a while ..... in fact it's been over a year, rewind, redo!
Wow times fly when your life gets busy with three kids. It was last that I posted just having my third. So now he's 18 months you say and practically a toddler, how could I miss blogging about him and the other three special people in my life. Trust me just cause I didn't have much to blog about (actually there was A LOT to blog about just not enough time!) Maybe I can now that there's and extra hour these days, I have no excuse. Well sense I have missed blogging due to trying to juggle everyone and everything, (in the midst of my juggling I couldn't mange all I had and the computer too) so here's to my blogging attempt number 2. With that said, first post to blog number 2 will be our year in review!
1. Warner Owen Joined our family June 26, 10 with a minor Birth defect
2. Warner had his first of 3 surgery's on October 3 that repaired his cleft lip. And may I say what a great surgical time they have at primary's. I am so grateful!
3. Boston Started his first year of pr-school in September from a wonderful lady in our ward in Salt lake, a lady that I have learned so much from! What an amazing family she has.
4. Boston's pre-school teacher's husband looses a battle to cancer of the body, I stepped in everyday to play pre-school teacher. That was exhausting but so rewarding!
5. With Halloween around the corner, Boston was a dragon, Bailey girl was a bumble bee and Warner was a duck. Of course in our family everyone gets to be a duck there first Halloween.
6. Typical Christmas in the Gallagher house but it was Warner's first Christmas!
7. We had a special visit by Grandpa Mike in February. The kids love there Grandpa!
8. I lost my sweet granny on my birthday. I will miss her so much!!!
9. my bro and I re-unite with our dad and couldn't be happier.
10. We move and are waiting for our new home in Orem to be ready while waiting we get the chance to stay with grandma Linda and aunt Megan. The kids loved the ducks at grandmas apartment complex!
11. I had a scary miscarriage which lead to emergency surgery and blood transfusion. I pray that never happens again!
12. We are finally moved into our home in Orem and absolutely love it the kids I couldn't be more happier!
13. Boston loves soccer and his soccer team
14. Boston turns 4, Bailey turns 3, Warner turns 1! Happy Birthday in June!
15. Dave and I celebrate our fifth wedding anniversary!
16. another great visit from grandma Margret and Grandpa Mike. We always look forward to this time of year!
17. Boston and Bailey start pre-school. Bailey is so excited to be big like her brother!
18. Dave and I are excited for new church callings. Dave is the ward cub scout master and I serve as activity's day leader.
19. Boston breaks his right arm!
Which brings us to present, life has been wonderful, sad, crazy and fun! I wouldn't have it any other way I love my little family what joy my heart is constantly filled with.
Ps. On a side note we are expecting baby number 4 coming this June 3, 2012 Boston says it's should be named spider man while Bailey is routing for Cinderella. Dare I tell them those are not options!
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Were back in business!
So I have not blogged in a really long time. I try to get away with one pic and a few sentences but I hear from others that's not cutting it, it's not a real update they say. My brother has been out of town with work a lot this summer and I his wonderful sister, let him take my lap top with him so he can skype his cute little family back home. (This being my excuse for the lack blogging, is it working?) Not to mention are recent new family member who takes all my time even though most of it is watching him sleep so peacefully. And of course the two other children that we already had. Not to much is different with them except Bailey did turn two, and boy did she let me know it! (oh and did I mention shes a red head, if you know any red heads you know what I am talking about! nothing bad intended to fellow red heads, cause boy we sure love this little lady!) And always there is the husband and the dog blah, blah, blah I think you get the picture. So with that said here is or family update with no pictures but as soon as I get my computer back we should be back in business!
Dave- Dave like always is working hard for our family. He recently got a job promotion and is now the new assistant Manager at Biglots. We are so proud of him. Mom really loves his new work schedule sense our house schedule has changed a little bet in the last few weeks. He is here in the morning until noon and back home by six, it's great! He of course is always working out and his newest hobby is road biking. He frequently points out the bike he wants that is worth more than a car. I told him if ever gets one, that is his Christmas and birthday for the next thirty years! And as you all know or maybe I am just being byest but he is the best dad ever. These kiddos of ours just love him to pieces!
Brooke- Brooke is loving being mom again for the third time around! I am still is trying to figure out how to mange three kids though, which some days are better than others. I do feel as long as we are all bathed and dressed by eleven, all kids have had breakfast and at least one maybe two rooms are still not destroyed than that day might just be OK! I still try to sneak in a craft or two but I am finding out it takes me a lot longer to get them done than I like. My new favorite thing right now besides my new baby is my jelly bean baby sling. It has made my life that much easier and it all so keeps Warner safe from two, three feet tall predators that roam our home daily.
Boston- What can I say this little guy isn't so little anymore, he is always playing some kind of sport. He currently rocks a catchers met and mask around the house 24/7 and is always wanting some one to pitch him a ball. He loves Scooby Doo and Little rascals. He heard a bad word the other day " Holly C***" I had to tell him that was not an OK word to say. I also asked him "Do you think that is a word Jesus uses?' he told me no and that Jesus says "Holy molely" instead. We were at the store the other day and the man in line behind us said they above mentioned word and Boston said to him "excuse me but Jesus does not say holy c*** he says holly moley" and if he kept saying it he would get a time out! I guess you had to be there! He is such a great big helper to mom with new baby Warner. I can't believe my once and only baby, the first baby to makes us a family is now as big as he is, a leader and example to his other siblings. He is doing such a great job leading the way. This could not make his mom and dad more happier!
Bailey- Bailey, Bailey, Bailey! My seek and destroy child as I call her. Or that at least that is her daily mission. This little one has a fire so strong I don't know if any one will ever tame it or put it out! And I love her for that! She is always on the go and is always keeping me on my toes. People always remind me "You know shes a red head, they just come that way". But enough said about her wild and craziness, I do hope these are her only wild and crazy days! She is every thing girlie. She loves to dance like no other. I just love coming home from church on Sundays she sings all of the rest of the day all the songs she sang in nursery. Her favorite song to sing to baby Warner is wheels on the bus and of course the part where the mommy on the bus goes shh, shh, shh to the baby. She does give me a little scare around the baby. She has all ready tried to walk off with him a few times but I know some day she will make the best mommy ever! I just love this little girls spirit!
Warner- There's something about a new baby in your home. It amazes me how much love you have for each of your children each so strong as the next. I can't express how much I love this new little man in my life! As I was pregnant with him I knew what strong spirit he was even before we knew of his birth defect. He is such a good baby and I sure can't complain about the six hours he sleeps ever night. We were so blessed to find out that all he had was a cleft lip. When we had his ultrasound they told us the the problems that he would have had when he got here and they also prepared us for roughly about 6-10 surgery's that he would need in the next sixteen years of life. Boy was that sure over whelming but we got ready and sure enough only one small minor thing was wrong. So September 30Th, Warner will have his first of only two surgery's. We know that he will do so well and will be so strong!
Dave- Dave like always is working hard for our family. He recently got a job promotion and is now the new assistant Manager at Biglots. We are so proud of him. Mom really loves his new work schedule sense our house schedule has changed a little bet in the last few weeks. He is here in the morning until noon and back home by six, it's great! He of course is always working out and his newest hobby is road biking. He frequently points out the bike he wants that is worth more than a car. I told him if ever gets one, that is his Christmas and birthday for the next thirty years! And as you all know or maybe I am just being byest but he is the best dad ever. These kiddos of ours just love him to pieces!
Brooke- Brooke is loving being mom again for the third time around! I am still is trying to figure out how to mange three kids though, which some days are better than others. I do feel as long as we are all bathed and dressed by eleven, all kids have had breakfast and at least one maybe two rooms are still not destroyed than that day might just be OK! I still try to sneak in a craft or two but I am finding out it takes me a lot longer to get them done than I like. My new favorite thing right now besides my new baby is my jelly bean baby sling. It has made my life that much easier and it all so keeps Warner safe from two, three feet tall predators that roam our home daily.
Boston- What can I say this little guy isn't so little anymore, he is always playing some kind of sport. He currently rocks a catchers met and mask around the house 24/7 and is always wanting some one to pitch him a ball. He loves Scooby Doo and Little rascals. He heard a bad word the other day " Holly C***" I had to tell him that was not an OK word to say. I also asked him "Do you think that is a word Jesus uses?' he told me no and that Jesus says "Holy molely" instead. We were at the store the other day and the man in line behind us said they above mentioned word and Boston said to him "excuse me but Jesus does not say holy c*** he says holly moley" and if he kept saying it he would get a time out! I guess you had to be there! He is such a great big helper to mom with new baby Warner. I can't believe my once and only baby, the first baby to makes us a family is now as big as he is, a leader and example to his other siblings. He is doing such a great job leading the way. This could not make his mom and dad more happier!
Bailey- Bailey, Bailey, Bailey! My seek and destroy child as I call her. Or that at least that is her daily mission. This little one has a fire so strong I don't know if any one will ever tame it or put it out! And I love her for that! She is always on the go and is always keeping me on my toes. People always remind me "You know shes a red head, they just come that way". But enough said about her wild and craziness, I do hope these are her only wild and crazy days! She is every thing girlie. She loves to dance like no other. I just love coming home from church on Sundays she sings all of the rest of the day all the songs she sang in nursery. Her favorite song to sing to baby Warner is wheels on the bus and of course the part where the mommy on the bus goes shh, shh, shh to the baby. She does give me a little scare around the baby. She has all ready tried to walk off with him a few times but I know some day she will make the best mommy ever! I just love this little girls spirit!
Warner- There's something about a new baby in your home. It amazes me how much love you have for each of your children each so strong as the next. I can't express how much I love this new little man in my life! As I was pregnant with him I knew what strong spirit he was even before we knew of his birth defect. He is such a good baby and I sure can't complain about the six hours he sleeps ever night. We were so blessed to find out that all he had was a cleft lip. When we had his ultrasound they told us the the problems that he would have had when he got here and they also prepared us for roughly about 6-10 surgery's that he would need in the next sixteen years of life. Boy was that sure over whelming but we got ready and sure enough only one small minor thing was wrong. So September 30Th, Warner will have his first of only two surgery's. We know that he will do so well and will be so strong!
Sunday, June 27, 2010
Welcome our newest Blessing!
We are so excited that Warner is here! Best of all he only has the cleft lip! We were told he had a lot of other cranial facial problems but they were wrong! We are so blesses to have him!
Thursday, June 3, 2010
Birthday's, Parties and Graduation!
Our Birthday setup! Boston turned 3 on the 2ND of June so we had a combined Birthday party for him and for Bailey (only because we are due in a few weeks and I wont have time for Bailey's Birthday) We had a bug and flower party for the kids. They had a lot of fun having family and friends come over and celebrate with them. Thanks to all those who came and made there day special!
Aunt Wendy we love the hair cut! Thanks for coming!
Good times with family!
The kids all the loved the bounce house!
The kids where defiantly spoiled! Thanks for all the wonderful gifts!
Defiantly a highlight of the party! We were so lucky to have these special guest come to our party, our triplet cousins Christian, Gab and Sunshine. Next time you guys come over maybe you can jump in the bounce house with us!
After party! Boston and cousin Max enjoying a relaxing TV show!
For sure one of our Favorite Birthday presents! Thanks to Grandma Linda for the sand box! We love it!
We woke up on Bostons birthday with the primary sign in front of the house. I can't believe how big he is getting!
Congrats to Dave's little Brother Nick! We are excited for you and glad that we could be apart of your special night. We are excited to see what your future holds!
Dave and the happy graduate of 2010!
Sunday, April 4, 2010
update.....
So I have so busy lately, I think this is the first time that I have gone for a long period of time with out posting anything! Our family is doing well and pretty much the same old. (Probably why I haven't posted anything) We are getting ready for our third baby to come. We just recently found out that this baby has a minor birth defect a Bilateral cleft lip and palette. No worries though I know that we have some great doctors that will be there to help through his many surgery. Dave and I just pick a wonderful Cranial Facial team at Primary Children's and we have full confidence in them. Still don't know how it happened, they think I was one of those strike by lighting sort of deals. We are still so excited for him to come and grateful for all the lord has blessed our family with even this little trial we couldn't be more happy!
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Maxwell Donaven Bollard!
Max is here! He was 7 lbs 10 oz and 21 1/2 inches long! He is the cutest baby ever!
Here is the just about the cutest family of three I think I have ever seen! Congrats we are so excited for you guys!
What can I say I thought maybe Donaven wouldn't be so goofy when he became a father but I guess that's not going to change! But Max did get a pretty fun dad!
Cousins YEAH!!!! Need I say more we are excited to say that we have cousins finally not only cute little Max but 3 small and precious new ones as well! We are so lucky and blessed!
Saturday, January 16, 2010
Pregancy for the 3rd time around!
I remember when Dave and I wanted to start our family, how excited we where to take on the large and extreme role called parents. The joy I felt to become a mom! Something every little girl dreams of, playing mommy to all her baby dolls and make sure they knew how much you loved them even if it was pretend and they where only made of plastic.
Now that we have become parents, "Mommy's" and "daddy's" It has definitely been fun, scary, emotional, exhausting, a time suck (and I mean that in the nicest way), wonderful, thrilling and a crazy ride! Even though my oldest is almost 3 and I have not been a mom for that long, I know that it is exactly what I wanted to be! And I wouldn't change it for anything! I look forward to all the challenges that being a mom or parent bring. I would never wish my children's lives away but I look forward to them going to school for the first time and when there still little to you in your eyes but they tell you that they don't need you, when the go through there awkward tween years, through the wonderful years of junior high, on to High school where they go to there first dance, learn to drive a car and pick colleges to go to. But for now I will keep them the way they are fun, always making me laugh, testing my patient, testing my consistently, and loving me right back!
Now that we are expecting our third I will be honest I am little scared. Being out numbered, knowing I have to be ready days in advance to be able to go any where. Trying to have every one on a schedule. Each kid going in there own direction. Deciding who needs to be cared for first but making sure each one of your kids know how much love you have for each of there special spirits and the joy and talents that they bring to your family!
I have decided that even being pregnant is like we already have our third here. I am sick all the time and my poor kids often find themselves watching a movie a little longer than I like to admit to. Getting breakfast closer to lunch time and making them taking naps longer even if there playing in there bed rooms, as long as they don't come out.
It amazes me how adding a new member of the family just as simple as only being 16 weeks pregnant, how much it can effect my family. But I look forward to adding a new and special spirit to our family. I can't wait to get to know him or her and I hope him/her knows how excited we are for them to get him/her here safely. Every thing that I look forward for Boston and Bailey I look for forward to our 3rd! We can't wait to meet you!
Now that we have become parents, "Mommy's" and "daddy's" It has definitely been fun, scary, emotional, exhausting, a time suck (and I mean that in the nicest way), wonderful, thrilling and a crazy ride! Even though my oldest is almost 3 and I have not been a mom for that long, I know that it is exactly what I wanted to be! And I wouldn't change it for anything! I look forward to all the challenges that being a mom or parent bring. I would never wish my children's lives away but I look forward to them going to school for the first time and when there still little to you in your eyes but they tell you that they don't need you, when the go through there awkward tween years, through the wonderful years of junior high, on to High school where they go to there first dance, learn to drive a car and pick colleges to go to. But for now I will keep them the way they are fun, always making me laugh, testing my patient, testing my consistently, and loving me right back!
Now that we are expecting our third I will be honest I am little scared. Being out numbered, knowing I have to be ready days in advance to be able to go any where. Trying to have every one on a schedule. Each kid going in there own direction. Deciding who needs to be cared for first but making sure each one of your kids know how much love you have for each of there special spirits and the joy and talents that they bring to your family!
I have decided that even being pregnant is like we already have our third here. I am sick all the time and my poor kids often find themselves watching a movie a little longer than I like to admit to. Getting breakfast closer to lunch time and making them taking naps longer even if there playing in there bed rooms, as long as they don't come out.
It amazes me how adding a new member of the family just as simple as only being 16 weeks pregnant, how much it can effect my family. But I look forward to adding a new and special spirit to our family. I can't wait to get to know him or her and I hope him/her knows how excited we are for them to get him/her here safely. Every thing that I look forward for Boston and Bailey I look for forward to our 3rd! We can't wait to meet you!
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Favorite Chrismast tradition!
By far on of my favorite Christmas traditions! After we open presents, go feed the homeless make ginger bread houses (or in our case gram cracker houses) we are off for night tubing!I love spending the holidays with my family we always have so much fun together and I think this will stay a tradition in our family. Boston and Bailey loved it!
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Sunday, December 20, 2009
Worse Mom of the week, for sure goes to me!
Baileys Accident:So about a week ago when I was finally getting around to getting all our Christmas stuff out, I should have known Bailey might have wanted to play with the stuff, but I was not thinking. I put are cute little stockings up on out mantel with our nice rock solid stocking holders. Of course Bailey's curiosity got to her like usual and she yanked one of the stocking down, and wouldn't you know one of our stocking holders fell and broke on top of her head, leaving her with a nice gash!
My poor baby! We couldn't get it to stop bleeding. I called my good friend Cynthia who happens to be a pediatrician and told her what happen. I told her that I didn't think she needed stitches but that she might need some super glue! And to my rescue she came! She had some Durobond at home would be glad to take care of it for me. Thanks to Cynthia! I tell ya it sure does pay to know a doctor who takes house calls but best of all who is welling to do it for free!
Bostons Accident:About 4 days after Baileys accident Boston got his very own head injury, I mean like sister like brother, any ways. Bailey had broken one of our floor laps down stairs. I was cleaning it up got a bag to put the glass in. Just when I was ready to take it up stairs and out to the trash. Bailey was climbing up our entertainment center so I hung the bag of broken glass on our stair Bannister thinking I would go get Bailey down then take the bag up stairs but as I went toward Bailey, Dave had just walked through the door and Boston heard him. Whenever Boston hears Dave come home he rush's to him immediately! Boston shouted out "Daddy, Daddy" tripped over the first step and fell into the bag of glass and sliced his head open! Not again, I felt like the worlds worse mom! My poor little man! Of course his injury was tens times worse! He screamed at first, I think he was more scared of all the blood but he calmed down quickly and just keep telling Dave and I, if we got him a band aid he would stop bleeding. We ran him to the E.R. We knew for sure he was going to need stitches. He did such a good job! He struggled through the shots but actually fell asleep during the last few stitches. He tells every body he has a really cool band aid called stitches, there blue and he has seven of them! He has also said "When can I get more" I told him hopefully never but I am sure this wont be the last time it's just the beginning!
Sunday, December 13, 2009
Half way to 2 and 3, a few updates on how big we are getting around here!
Bailey Cakes- This little girl lights up a room! She could dance all day long. I love how she puts her hands on her hips and shakes her bottom. Her dad and I could watch her do this all day long! Her newest thing that her dad taught her is how to do the sprinkler, I just love how short her little arms are and how hard she tries to do it! Classic!
- She is doing some fun new tricks. She loves to put her hands in the air as we tell her "raise the roof", fold her arms and say her prayers, wash her hands, tell her "nice to meet you" and she will put out her hand for a hand shake!
- She will be a great mommy some day. She takes such good care of her baby! I love how she will get a blanket out, wrap her baby in it go and get a pillow, lay her on the floor and comes and tells me to "shhhhhhhhh, baby blah blah blah" which I am pretty sure translates into be quite my baby is sleeping!
- This lady could DESTROY a room seconds. As much as I can't stand it, it cracks me up to chase her around telling her to "STOP" while she dies laughing thinking it's a game. Her machine gun laugh gets me the most!
- I don't know if any one knows how Dave is with food but Bailey she JUST LIKE HIM TO A TEE when it comes to food! No exaggeration she acts like she is going to die if she never eats at least ever 5 Min's. We often have to stop for eating to much which turns into a very long tantrum. But what gets me is a little she is. I guess she really is like her dad where she can eat anything and it all goes to her big toe!
- Bailey makes me so very HAPPY in so many ways, I love this little girl so muccccccch!
Boston Taters- Loves all the old school Christmas moves. We watch Frosty the snowman I don't know how many times of the day. He knows all the words to Frosty the snowman and as much as I am sick of that movie I will never get sick of him singing that song or his cute little man voice he sings with!
- Here is a few things he is constantly telling me "I can do it", "I already know how to MOM", "Mom I need money", "Santa and Frosty are coming to bring me presents", He questions everything and is always asking "why MOM" Sings "POPCORN POPPING" very loudly to Bailey when she cries, he thinks this will make her fell better!
- New favorite thing to do is build forts with all the couch cushions, blankets anything he can do to stay away from all the alligators. The other day one got hurt so he asked me to get his imaginary alligator a band aid, so we did and now all is set right in imagination land until his next adventure!
- I think one of these days I will have to take him to the doctor's for fear he will break his legs. He likes to see how many stairs he will clear. Every time he jumps it is always a stair more than the day before and he always tells me" Don't worry I can do it MOM"!
- I love when we all get ready on Sundays for church he is always so sweet to me and follows me around the house and tells me "MOM you ready for church! You look so Handsome and Daddy is handsome and Bailey is so pretty"!
- What more can I say I love this little man and I can't say enough about him. I hate that he is getting so big so fast!
Sunday, November 22, 2009
A Fat Cats Birthday!
We celebrated this guy here, Birthday the other night. Thanks to all those who came to surprise and wish him a Happy Birthday!
This Uncle here was kind enough to wrangle this little lady for some of the night. I think that if he could handle her he could handle at least three of her!
A little sympathy weight never hurt any one!
Checking out my score. Boston helped me a lot with my game. I am glad to say we at least got to 50!
Enjoying pizza!
Some of us hanging out!A small clip of us singing Happy Birthday to Dave
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)